Clearly Distorted News, in Black and White

Artifice: Belgian News Suspected of Harboring Viral Marketing False News Stories

Authorities in the European Union have sent out a warning, alerting television viewers Europe wide that any news emanating from Belgium may be highly suspect, and may contain viral marketing messages. The warning came after viewers of a Belgium public television station experienced chaos, mayhem, and anarchy, as they were treated to images of their Belgium Royalty, King Albert II and Queen Paola, fleeing in aeroplanes to avoid the crushing masses and burning, rioting, anarchy that spread below in this tiny, peaceful kingdom of less than 5 million people. Authorities in the United States were also alerted in an attempt to stave of threats to the Chocolate Import market, which could have dire economic consequences on wealthy suburbs and parts of Manhattan and Boston. “We dont have the Latin American chocolate connection like they do out in Los Angeles,” Meyer Weirmeister of Meyers Chocolaterie, Park Avenue New York said in response to the fake news. “We have no cushion. We rely entirely on Belgium. This could be very disastrous.” Meanwhile, the population of Belgium has risen up in defiance of the fake newscast, and declared they would march on the offending Television network building with “Staves and Pitchforks”, said Heimi Glundknept, a leader of the newly formed Brussels Anti Viral Network in Belgium. “They have offended our sense of national unity and pride, and must be burned. It is the only way,” he said.