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Artifice: Mammoth Battle over Mammoth Taxonomy

The word “mammoth” may soon be extinct. Scientists frustrated by the vague language in the use of the word have called for its eradication. “We are tired of having to say Mammoth Bones Discovered. We use that phrase to describe T. Rex bones, which are decidedly mammoth. But these mammothologists come in and confuse the issue with their Mammoth Bones Discovered news…”, Wilma Tungle of the North Atlantic Tyrannosaurus Rex Clinic said on thursday. “Its free advertising for these Mammoth heads everytime we discover any kind of big bone at all.” James Yaltzin of the Mammoth, CA Mammoth Discovery Corps Disagreed. “Language evolves. We have no problem if the Rexites want to come up with their own word to describe large T. Rex bones. But as it stands, the Mammoth is firmly embedded in the taxonomy. How else could we know we are talking about tree huggers chained to a Mammoth Redwood as opposed to a Shrub Redwood?” A consortium of online internet game players has aligned themselves with the mammoth group of anti-mammothologists opposed to the word mammoth. “Were just worried that they would want to change our own favored Massive into their Mammoth. Mammoth Grammar Fascists have no place in our world. It would become a Mammoth Multiplayer Online Game world, and that would make everyone believe our entire sector consisted of role playing dinosaurs. Not that we dont have our share of them, but we dont need that many, as they drag gameplay down with their old 1960s free love and open source ethics. And bad music choices. Either way, weve all had our share of Corporations pushing their pro dinosaur ethics on us as children in the 90s.”