The corporate book selling industry sector known as Thomas Pynchon of Against the Day fame has seen an uptick on numbers released today from the Federal Committee on Obscure Economics, even though Analysts are marking the stock as a liquidate because of a variety of concerns. “In our current post 9-11 era, with terrorism everywhere, [...]
Universal Tube & Rollform Equipment Corporation specializes in buying and selling used tube mills, used pipe mills and used rollforming machines. A group of twenty advisors have rated this Universal Tube as the best new investment play. “Weve seen an astonishing amount of public interest in the products of Universal Tube.” says, Bill Appleblix of [...]
Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld finished off his salutation to a group of freshmen at the University of Georgia with a quote from Shakespeare: “To cut… perchance to run.. ayeee there is more rubble.” The rubble Mr. Rumsfeld was referring to was the remains of armored US personal carriers and Bradley fighting vehicles which line [...]
In a speech before the U.S. Airborne 10,232 Division stationed at Fort Bliss, near El Paso, Texas, President Bush reiterated his Vietnamization policy. “A lot of you are consumers– of soda,” said George Bush, to the troops. “A lot soda consumers are too young to remember this but there used to be a commercial about [...]
In their matchup against the Eagles at the sumptous Springbok Park in Bloemfontein, the Lions have won the toss. The toss opens up the MTN domestic champonship in Bloemfontein. “What a wonderful piece of luck for the Lions” said Joel Eisenbach, who has participated in over 15 years of events in Bloemfontein. “My father and [...]
Sooner or later it had to happen– the FEMA trailer. Ive changed my beautiful suite uptown for two weeks on the bayou opposite the castle between I-10 and Highway 11. Ive moved my operations– phones, computers, files complete with receipts, tax forms, the entire record regime to the highway, to the the bayou, to a [...]
The best way to beat the pain is to remember that it will go away. From Dantes sinners to Greek hero Sisyphus this has been a source of incredible salvation: the pain goes away. But this unfortunately is just pain in the immediate sense, the pain we interpret as physical (though it is not purely [...]
U.S. scientists have found what they say might be the first evidence of higher civilization in the dinosaur era: a parasitic government that fed off the body politic of some of the largest beasts the earth has known. The discovery by University of Colorado researchers suggests at over 75 million years ago, when dinosaurs ruled [...]
Previously thought to be dead at the age of 64 from a massive coronary attack, Kenneth Lay was found today alive and well and living with members of his family in suburban Houston. Former head of Enron, once the worlds seventh largest corporation, Kenneth Lay was convicted of fraud and conspiricy earlier this year and [...]
U.S. President George Bush, taking a page from the state of North Korea, has requested in a memo that henceforth he be known to his staffers as “Dear Leader.” There is a lot not to like about these axis of evil states like Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan” says Mr. Bush, “but one thing that they [...]
Goose Hunting and Nascar Out Goosebumps, Car Naps In
With Rumsfelds resignation and steep loses in the House and Senate America is seeing a shift away from Nascar racing, Goose hunting, and church cookies. It is not clear what …
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