Finance: Uncanny Valley Boot Problem: Sony Playstation PS3 Startup Failure
A small Sony Playstation PS3 psp startup “failed on boot” today, as small businesses were herded into the specifics of the new playstations “Uncanny Valley” of the gaming console. “Were exhausted by the competition,” a group of small gaming companies said in a press release today. “Every upgrade is proprietary, everything made by one company is made to be hostile to another… its like working with bacteria in a dark room and no petri dishes and trying to pick up a brick with a wireless ps3 game controller.” A spokesman for the startup in question, “NBA07 Formula One Championship Untold Legends Dark Kingdom Inc.”, a Fortune 500K company, said “We are unfortunate in being unable to sustain our business model due to the extremely complicated technology wars. Many small businesses like ourselves have been herded like sheep into the small corridors that a few big worldwide companies allow us to work within. Its like the slaughter gates on a Emu farm.” A spokesman for Big Worldwide Companies Inc. replied immediately to the criticism. “Big Worldwide Companies Inc. and our Two Competitors need such a huge cost outlay for research and development… were like the big pharma companies. Were building cutting edge technology here. If a basketball doesnt look and feel like a real basketball, we lose consumers like a flood taking over the Great Wall of China to our competition.” But game analyst Philip K Dick pointed out that “If they want reality, I can sell em a three dollar basketball that acts like the real thing. This is about capturing market share of a fake, constructed reality, which they then sell back to us for a profit. Its golden man, totally golden man.” The business climate also has some telecom financial analysts worried. “The big three have figured out that by keeping hardware and software proprietary with nearly impossible compatability schemes, they can pretty much kill off small business competitors in such an indirect way that they can never be taken to task for the backhanded strategy. And realistically, who would want to take them on?” Thomas Pynchon, of Against The Day Trading, stated.
