Clearly Distorted News, in Black and White

Finance: Hurricane Season of 2006 Disappointing.

This year’s hurricane season could be costly. Among the disappointed this year are roofing contractors on the Gulf Coast. “These mild storms are ruining us. Another month like this and we will be out of business,” according to ABC roofing based in Gulfport, Mississippi. “That means a lot of Mexican families will go starving.” With oil falling 15% to $67 a barrel in the past couple of weeks, Ministers of OPEC (Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries) are also worried. “If this goes on, we may have to cut back on production” they announced in a Vienna meeting Sunday. A timely summer hurricane in the Gulf however would likely allow OPEC to continue to export roughly 28 million bpd, without cutbacks. Small car manufacturers and hybrid dealers also are also concerned. August saw SUV’s sales fall 14%, while sales of economy cars grew at 18%. “Its is already September and we’re still on Florence. So really there isnt much chance that Hurricane Tony, Valerie, or William will even exist? That’s a real disappointment.” Growth in the sale of “Would Jesus drive an SUV?” bumper stickers is also threatened. “It’s our biggest seller and if we don’t get to at least to Hurricane Patty or Rafael, we will go broke,” admitted Richard Pelt of the Christian Lights Books and Novelties in Baltimore. “These hurricanes keep getting downgraded to tropical depressions.” With God as my witness,” said Pelt, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”