Clearly Distorted News, in Black and White

Finance: Treasury Secretary is Better

From the Diary of Henry Paulson: Some regard Henry Paulsons new appointment as Secretary as a demotion. Henry doesnt think so. Treasury Secretary is better than CEO. The sound of it “Treasury secretary Henry Paulson.” That is a good sound. And then clapping. Oh they love Henry. Plus I get the free coffee, the ride home in one of those black SUVs– Whoos! maybe even free sirens even. Bush said I might get sirens he wasnt 100% on that. If I go back to New York, Im going to ask for sirens. Henry Paulson is sick of those bond traders at Goldman, always pounching me in the arm and saying “Hi there Paulie” I hate to be called Paulie. And te Ops guys and the weird guy downstairs– who can stand them? They just want to ass-kiss. mmm mmm muuh Question: Do you know the difference between a brown-noser and an ass-kisser? Answer: Perspective. Hee-Haw. I wonder if Bushie has heard that one. It is better to be Treasury secretary — defintely better. Very good. I have to practice saying it Treasury Secretary. Treasury Secretary. In a deep voice… I wonder if the girls are cuter. Probably. If it is better that means the girls are probably cuter. Now Henry is going to practice drawing dollar signs. $$$ $$$ Gold Man $ach$. That is fun Gold Man Sachs and some dollar signs $$$$. US in money Goldman $achs. U.$ Treasury. Its pretty. Well– Henry is glad: treasury secretary is better.