Archaeology Lance Armstrong to Give Remaining Testicle to Cancer Research

Archaeology: Lance Armstrong to Give Remaining Testicle to Cancer Research

In a surprise move Lance Armstrong, seven time winner of the Tour de France and perhaps the worlds most famous bicyclist announced that he would not be running in the New York Manathon as expected but instead during the eight scheduled hours of the marathon would be lying face up on a surgical table at Mt. Sinai. Mr. Armstrong has instructed Mt. Sinai doctors to extracthis remaining testicle. Armstrong, who lost one testicle in his battle with cancer, is giving this second testicle to science. “I thought everybody runs, why not do something meaningful to fight cancer?” Although many fans were in awe of Armstrongs apparent selflessness critics derided the move as a publicity stunt intended to take the publics mind off Armstrongs use of “the cream” a synthetic testosterone to win in Paris. In any case, the news has been good for the testicle business. Word is getting out and now the hospital at Mt. Sinai has received hundreds of applications from men who want to give up either one or both testicles to help finght cancer. Mary Wittenburg, who planned the New York Marathon this year has rerouted the race to pass by Mt. Sinai hospital. “When runners pass by Mt. Sinai,” says Wittenburg, they should “give a shout for Lance.” Armstrong, who was trying out a gas drug to be used during the operation had this comment: “I… we… world be able to vibe their support.” Runners are expecting a significant police presence for the race, which like every year will run through all five new york city burroughs.