Clearly Distorted News, in Black and White

Live from New Orleans: Big Daddy’s

Big Daddy’s– its an institution. One of the oldest strip clubs new orleans, right on Bourbon street. The place has

“world famous Sex Acts” written on the marquee. A rotting mechanical female mannequin legs swing out of a hole cut

into the building and speakers blare a tinny screaming sound to simulate a sex act. The paint is chipped and falling

of the mannequin’s fishnet stocking and high heel shoe. Is this supposed to be sexy– clearly not. I guess it was

supposed to be a joke– that is when they assembled it in the 1940s. Rick, the guy who owns the joint, called us up to

fix some broken windows upstairs. So we went over there to check it out. Getting to the damn place took almost an hour

because Bourbon street, which is practically unnavigable anyway, was clogged with barricades and work trucks. I

digress– this Big Daddy’s place is four stories tall. And just about every window in the place is broken. Most of it,

again, before the storm. So rick takes me into his office, which is about as small and stinky as an office can be–

lodged as it is behind the sex acts stage, half under a stairway. It is a tiny space covered with scraps of papers,

food, dirty clothes. Rick, whom I meet for the first time, turns out to be about 8o years old, he can barely stand up.

His face is red and his gums are black and droopy like a dogs. A real piece of work. His hair is gray and thin and

whispy, like pubic hair on the head. And he asks me: “Do you like boys? Because, he says grabbing my arm and holding

it, “I do.” I should have just left, but I said– look I just came to fix the windows. “Oh he says, Sorry.” “Yu

probably though I was someone else,” I offered. He just looks at me, this guys who has probably the most prime piece

of real estate in the whole state of Louisiana, and says: “Tell you the truth, Ive had enough of this.” “What?” I say

skeptical now of this man but also wanting the job. “Bourbon street. The whole damn thing.” He goes on to explain that

he has a lease on this place– 30 year lease, and he has just 3 years left on the lease. And that he is worried that

the owner is going to come around and see how bad the place looks, see that he hasn’t done anything in 25 years to

maintain the building and that the guy is going to sue him.”Otherwise you think I would fix this piece of shit?”