Clearly Distorted News, in Black and White

Live from New Orleans: A Free Estimate

“You here to give me the free estimate meester?” says a chubster of a woman with a half eaten sausage in her mouth, juice dripping down her chin. “Well, we are a for-profit construction company maam but if you would like us to work on your home we will need to estimate the damages and give you a sense of what it will cost to repair your home.” “You here for a free estimate Meester? your ad said you was.” “Yes maam Im here to help you with an estimate.” Listen meester I need an estimate. FEMA said I need an estimate. I cant live in no house like this and I know I aint gonna be livin in no trailer.” “Ok… maam well… please show me what you need done.” “What I need done, Meester, you dont see what i need? I need everything done mister.” “Do you need a new roof?” “No meester, we got that roof done right after the storm done too we shore did.” “Okay, well why dont you show me what work you need?” She leads me through a broken door frame to a half-gutted house. “I want all this changed,” she says waving a paper plate with a half-eaten sausage on it gripped against the plate with a thumb. “I want all of this changed.” “The floor maam, the tile looks okay.” “Oh that old tile, get rid of that. And I want a nice — what do you call them? — japussi tub over here and terlet over there, pointing with the sausage. “Maam, did you have an adjuster out here to look at this house?” “Adjuster?” says she with indignation… “adjuster?” “I dont got no damn adjuster.” “I mean is your insurance going to pay for this work– you want a japussi tub and you want everything rewired…” “No I didn have no insurance, mister. FEMA said I gotta have an estimate from a contractor for I cound get someone to fix my house.” “Okay maam you know that id like to help you. I can give you a free estimate but this will have to be a verbal estimate because the kind of detailed estimate that you want will take me a day to assemble…” “What good are you to me meester. I dont want no verbal estimate. ” “What good are you to me meester?”