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Machine Intelligence: Bush Fights Terror: Terror Fights Back

President Bush signed new terror interrogation laws into effect today, which would allow US courts, for the first time, to interrogate Terror. “Terror has gotten by far too easily, for far too long,” said a covert Presidential source. “It plays with Freezing in Fear, Frozen in Terror, Stricken with Terror, Terror in the Night, Terror Sweats, and a whole arsenal it has been able to use, up till now, indiscriminately. No longer, this bill says to Terror: No longer. It wil not stand.” However, academic think tanks have been quick to point out how utterly crafty and insidious Terror is, implying that its just another step in an escalation of Terror and anti-Terror tactics. “After all, as soon as we came out with ARMY STRONG! to combat Terror in the rank and file, Terror just came back with TERROR STRONGER!. Its an escalation of terms that may have a few short term benefits, but is a terminal escalation in itself,” George vanWhippleburg II, Ph.D., MMFA DDT SAS spoke today, at a meeting of “META”, the organization of academic thought. Additionally, activist groups have almost unanimously denounced the legislation. “We are deathly afraid of the implications of this new bill,” the nationwide OSACT consortium responded today. But George vanWhippleburg II, Ph.D., MMFA DDT SAS disagreed. “Map it out: fear of legislation restricting fear. Lead in to: pulling back on restricting fear. Leads to: building up of fear, and reinstitution of even stricter legislation restricting fear. Fear is a state of non-being of the a priori concept of fear.. therefore [cut]“. But OSACT denied this could happen here. “It cant happen here,” they responded, “Because we are not talking about Fear at all. We are talking about Terror.”