humans are like more like fish than previously thought according to a new report from SHFS, the humans science foundation for linking fish to sapiens. The notable similarity? “Like fish we measure the worth of our lives by what happened in the last five minutes,” according to Joseph Abner, who chairs the society. Abner refers [...]
Ever since the FDA cleared cloned animals for human consumption the “clone sandwich” at Geraldos, the boutique specialty shop on the corner of 85th street and Third avenue in Manhattan, has been flying off the shelves. “We just cant make enough of them” says Frank Lutz proudly, proprietor and clone sandwich inventor. The sandwich is [...]
The recent passage of FDA cloned food legislation has opened up the doors for a new round of university science and tech funding for startup companies searching for the holy grail of science… and an endless supply of food from small machines. “Like the magic pouch from jack and the beanstalk, adults have searched for [...]
A recent partially government funded lab project in genetic tech has raised fears amongst scientific literati that the Cosy Catastrophe foretold after the end of World War II may be accelerating the dangerous impact of bad science fiction plots upon the Earths biosphere. “Not to mention the number of trees sacrificed in the name of [...]
Environmentalists cried foul today when an organization devoted to supporting our troops overseas labeled them as Anti American. “We have not only received threats against our members, but we have received threats to burn the forests north of the Mason Dixon line,” said Jane Wheedle, a self proclaimed environmentalist from the northern california environmental group [...]
A sixteen inch high Tsunami eroded a beach on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido after an eight point oh earthquake hit the Pacific Ocean Floor on Wednesday. A Japanese Tsunami Watch alert was quickly issued, calling for all coastal residents in the watch area to prepare for possible evacuation. A tsunami watch is issued [...]
In a continuing effort to discover the causes of the disruptions in the MidEast, researchers at the New York College of Eye and Nose Dentistry say they have found what may be one of the primary causes of the troubled area. “When Mr. Haniya of Palestine said yesterday, I tell you with all honesty, we [...]
The deadly Dodder plant has been on the move lately, with sporadic outbreaks occurring amongst larger tomato based towns in the US. The Dodder plant, which can smell fear, moves by inserting a tiny sharp barb into a variety of hosts and living off the hosts juices. Police continue to be on high alert [...]
The giant three foot long Palouse Earthworm, known taxonomically as the Driloleirus Americanus, is in danger. Along the Washington Idaho border, the ancient druidic culture which has long lived in Thrall to the One Worm has joined forced with Conservationists to attempt to place the Worm under federal protection. Now normally, we would question the [...]
A new scientific study by the British Antarctic Survey team has filled in the last details in a 800k year record of carbon dioxide bubbles, and the findings arent good. A cataclysm of destruction, suffocation, heat stroke indexes, muggy air, deleterious dark nights in sweltering two hundred degree heat awaits our planet within a short [...]
Goose Hunting and Nascar Out Goosebumps, Car Naps In
With Rumsfelds resignation and steep loses in the House and Senate America is seeing a shift away from Nascar racing, Goose hunting, and church cookies. It is not clear what …
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