Bloggian News » Philosophy

Carl Jung, Demonologist

blognews — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:17:33 +0000

A book secretly locked in a swiss bank vault (any relation to recent disclosure laws?), CG Jungs Red Book, is set to be published this october. Known as the book in which Jung, the well known psychoanalyst of the archetype and ghosts, wrote down his descent into his own mind, it was apparently too disturbing to publish… until now. Why now? Perhaps the worries of an old psychoanalyst about the Anime just cannot compare to newer, contemporary worries such as global warming, financial collapse, doom, and general nuclear-destructo-fears:

As Jung described it, he was visited by two figures, an old man and a young woman, who identified themselves as Elijah and Salome. They were accompanied by a large black snake. In time, the Elijah figure developed into a guiding spirit Jung called Philemon. Salome was identified by Jung as an anima figure. The figures, according to Jung, “brought home to me the crucial insight that there are things in the psyche which I do not produce, but which produce themselves and have their own life.”[link]

VR Game Company Discovers Secret Grecian Urn, Receives Power to Create Reality

blognews — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 11:24:45 +0000

When unnamed startup entrepreneurs discovered an ancient Grecian urn containing the suspected Eye of the Sybyl, they immediately founded a small gaming company, kumagames, to take advantage of their new found power. However, the growth cycle has been slow in ramping up their ability to handle horizontal spread, leading to a backlog of reality scenarios that just havent been implemented. “We see this all the time when minor deities get involved. They try to do too much, too fast, and have a hard time keeping up with the expectations of their target consumers. In this case, those of us in reality,” James Baker of the industry watchdog group Bakers Makers said about Kuma. “Kuma for instance has 81 scenarios out. Luckily, we were able to get Saddam Hussein, kill Zarqawi, and have some pretty good parties. But theres so much left undone. I mean, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?” But other analysts have disagreed. “We think Kuma is right on track. They have the Hipness, the Coolness like factor and everything, theyre down, theyre funny, theyre street, theyre ghetto, theyre onit, and theyve got the technology to back it up. What more could we want in a reality maker that outpaced the Footsie 500 in the last three months alone?” Kevin mcLandon of the wall street firm McAttuck and Attuck said yesterday. “We recommend a strong buy.”

Yad Lachim Rescues Lost Soul with Machine Guns and Van

blognews — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 14:44:00 +0000

Another 6 year old Lost Soul was, thank god, rescued today from the clutches of a falsifier. The 6 year old Soul will remain in legal Purgatory as her fate is decided through the court system. “This is one of many cases that we had to take care of with our undercover units that operate in the territories,” the head of Yad Lachim said today. “We have done many similar operations in the past,” He continued, setting aside worries that the rescue was a one time only, poster-soul mission. The group, armed with assault rifles and reportedly sprouting “long beards… and… Arab headdresses… in an effort to disguise themselves as locals”, forced the father of the 6 year old Soul and the 6 year old Soul into a van during the night and drove them off. The father was released in an olive grove outside Tulkarm and the child was taken to a secret location to meet her mother, it was reported. Nothing is known about what happened to the olives in the olive grove.

Collapsing Cliffs reveal Britains Misery

blognews — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 15:07:49 +0000

Archaeologists from the Ancient Human Occupation of Britain Project have revealed the layers of misery in early attempts to make Britain habitable. Over the last 700k years, our fish like tree dwelling ancestors attempted to habit the land, but at least seven or eight times were driven back as the fury of the climactic conditions attacked with freezing climates, dampness, fog, deadly Rhinocerous, and mainlanders culture from France. Collapsing cliffs in East Anglia and results from a quarry in Lynford have revealed everything but that which could have saved these early settlers: Shoes. Thats right, the Shoe Event Horizon. The Shoe Shop Intensifier Ray manufactured by Dolmansaxlil Shoe Corporation would have allowed these early unhappy neandrathals to look Up, towards the Shoe Event Horizon, and achieved the joy due to all sentient beings caught in the act of always purchasing a new pair of shoes. You may push the button. The danger in this of course is that a market glut of badly made shoes could have turned us all into a race of giant birds. Auk.

H&R Block Quarterly Loss Quadruples Due to Mortgage Defaults

blognews — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 17:56:55 +0000

Highest in the MidWest and other areas, mortgage defaults are starting to affect large companies who are under prosecution for overcharging retirees for fees and investments. Hmm. What we want to know is, where was the long term thinking about this? While its true H&R should be considered innocent, as they are still defending themselves against the Spitzer Bulldog attack (a rare, prized breed of American Heritage), its hard not to think about the ramifications if fictional suppositions were true. It would be one exec saying, We need some more cash here. Lets raise the fees on these old folk…, and another saying, It verges on being illegal, but lets push the boundary a bit. and the other one saying back OK sounds good Im on it and the other one saying itll make our stock look good thats a high fo sho and then a couple months later he or she is like Why are we losing all this money here? and the other being all like aw geeze we charged em all too much and now their defaulting on all their mortgages and the first one being all Oh please thats way too small an amount we overcharged to affect mortgage payments and the other one being all like Whoops… I think the term was fee increase and the first being all Right. Of course. Of course. and on and on. But really, mortgage defaults come primarily from things like people who cant pay their hospital bills. And maybe thats because a half hour stay in an rickety old metal bed slab at todays hospital prices run about fourty dollars a minute.

Study Finds Philosophy Bad for Farmers

blognews — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 09:19:03 +0000

A new study out from Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts, shows a statistical correlation between Corn Farming and Corn Farmers productivity and output, and an interest in philosophy. The results, said John Wahlburg, who led the study in the graduate division of their agricultural program, most likely indicated that the type of labor required by farmers already suffers from a high ratio of time spent in mental contemplation during the repetitive physical labor required by farming. Furthermore, Wahlburg states that the added burden of philosophy Really tips the scales in terms of ability to focus on specific tasks. The study shows The danger to Farm Productivity, especially Corn Farming with its new market dependence on Ethanol and a source of biomass for alternative energy and fuel, could have an impact far outside the agricultural sectors. However, we place some doubt upon this study, as one should upon all graduate funded studies, for an important fact it seems to overlook. Are there actually enough farmers who read philosophy to worry about? And if there are more than one might expect, is this statistically important enough to really affect the energy sector for investment?