In an effort to buoy hope against recent leading indicators showing a desperately sinking economic forecats, the Feds, in a little known internal document, are considering employing LOLcats as an agent for consumer change. “Weve tried telling people to buy more to get us out of this downward spiral, but they still seem held back, [...]
From the Moles Desk: its a Plant! Botanicalls Twitter set up a new module for DIY plant communication today. We have several plants working in various secret sectors around the globe, and were wondering if this module will allow these moles to twitter. There are many plants and moles in third world government offices, for [...]
With one opponent boycotting the pakistani elections, and the other opposition leader dead, its now up to president general (hes a president, hes a general!) elect M. to carry on.
The 4th amendment reads in part: “the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated.” Under the initiative of the Homeland Security task force headed up by Michael Chertoff, new rules may make international air travelers “4th amendment exempt,” meaning [...]
Environmentalists cried foul today when an organization devoted to supporting our troops overseas labeled them as Anti American. “We have not only received threats against our members, but we have received threats to burn the forests north of the Mason Dixon line,” said Jane Wheedle, a self proclaimed environmentalist from the northern california environmental group [...]
U.S. President George Bush, taking a page from the state of North Korea, has requested in a memo that henceforth he be known to his staffers as “Dear Leader.” There is a lot not to like about these axis of evil states like Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan” says Mr. Bush, “but one thing that they [...]
International investors today offered $4.5 billion US for Vietnamese government bonds, nearly six times higher than the offering price of $750 million. The increase is seen as a vindication of George Bushs Vietnamization policy, and Henry Paulsons attepts to woo the Asian markets. In addition, the Premier US Envoy Bill Gates visited Vietname this last [...]
Rumors flew in today on the Lear Jet track as YouTube was suspected of being in talks to buy Google. While parties from both companies declined to comment, many experts say it is a make-sense proposition. “The days of information aggregators are coming to an end,” Wilbert Talkum of Burr and Ess Investment Advisors said, [...]
Jill Fitzpatrick, owner of “Threads,” a popular store for virtual bathing suits and other swimwear along Linden Street, one of the most prestigious in the video game Second Life, is upset. Some of her customers have been behaving rudely. “They show up when I’m not here and pile up the stufff that theyve decided they [...]
Examination of George Bushs brain showed parts of it had been taken over by Nixon cells, in particular, the “vietnamization” cortex. Recent US experiments into transplanting the brains of South Vietnamese ARVN soldiers into the Iraqi Security Forces have led to the possibilty that rampant Nixonianism is on the rise. “We arent sure the Nixon [...]
Goose Hunting and Nascar Out Goosebumps, Car Naps In
With Rumsfelds resignation and steep loses in the House and Senate America is seeing a shift away from Nascar racing, Goose hunting, and church cookies. It is not clear what …
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