Earthquakes around the world
Everything from the China Earthquake hits china, and many other places. Images are terrible.
The Planets
Apocalypse: Asteriod Apophis Addles Atheist Apathy
An Apocalyptic Asteroid named Apophis has American Scientists worried that a new wave of religious hysteria could destroy the planet Earth before the asteroid has a chance to. “Everytime we get one of these flaming balls from space, the religion voting block comes out of the woodwork and sets scientific research back 30 years,” James [...]
Dick Cheney Wins Nobel Peace Prize in Alternative Universe
The Nobel Committee has awarded U.S. vice president Dick Cheney the prestigeous peace prize, in an alternative universe. Sven Gils, spokesman for the Nobel committee, said that although the U.S. vice president was not nominated for the prize, in an alternative universe he would be a “real competitor.” “If it were not for Cheneys involvement [...]
Dangerous Dodder Plant on the Move
The deadly Dodder plant has been on the move lately, with sporadic outbreaks occurring amongst larger tomato based towns in the US. The Dodder plant, which can smell fear, moves by inserting a tiny sharp barb into a variety of hosts and living off the hosts juices. Police continue to be on high alert [...]
Crowds Gather to Mourn the Death of the Individual
Crowds gathered today from as far away as Tashkent, Uzbekistan and Peoria, Illinois to mourn the sudden unexpected Death of the Individual. “We were in our monthly SCRUM meeting when the news came in over our Blackberries. We were shocked,” stated the Marketing Division of Bear Stearns. “Our group was highly unprepared.” Although the N.O.A.I. [...]
Tropical Storm Florence Heads Towards Schwarzenegger
The heated air currents underlying the Schwarzenegger Administration have created strong updrafts when they collided with the colder blue blood of Californias massive voting blocs. Today, a strong comment on the Hotness of Latinas stirred the air currents over much of the state, leading to speculation that the direction of Florence could take a more [...]
False Flag Interrogation Technique Finally Given its Due
In the release today of President George Booshes information regarding the existence of Secret CIA foreign summer camps for the detaining of delinquents, an old favorite technique which has been out of use since it went out of style in the 1950s has finally come back to claim the glory it deserves. Nothing could be [...]
Religion Gets its Game On in Marketing the Apocalypse
We all know the Apocalypse has suffered from a bad image over the years. Zombies, the Undead, burning in Hell, Purgatory, Plague, Locusts and Bedbug Infestations… these are all keywords reserved until now for the like of Charles Darwin or his fanatically ideological knee-jerk disciples. But luckily, Left Behind Games has now updated the cultural [...]
Human Asteroid To Crash into Moon Surface!
The Europeans, via their European Space Agency (ESA) have successfully launched their most advanced probe, the SMART-1, part of their Small Missions for Advanced Research in Technology, directly into the face of the moon. Using a state of the art solar-electric propulsion system, and powered by the raw fuel of 120 million euros, the [...]
Study Finds Philosophy Bad for Farmers
A new study out from Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts, shows a statistical correlation between Corn Farming and Corn Farmers productivity and output, and an interest in philosophy. The results, said John Wahlburg, who led the study in the graduate division of their agricultural program, most likely indicated that the type of labor required by [...]
The Weekly Bloggian: Editorial~
Goose Hunting and Nascar Out Goosebumps, Car Naps In
With Rumsfelds resignation and steep loses in the House and Senate America is seeing a shift away from Nascar racing, Goose hunting, and church cookies. It is not clear what …
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