Iraq Troop Surge Political Casualties Surge: President Bush Address

Politics: Iraq Troop Surge Political Casualties Surge: President Bush Address

The Iraqi troop surge was initiated by President Bush before he even gave a speech today, implying that the President can, in fact, predict the future. Ninety advanced troops from the 82nd Airborne Division arrived in Baghdad today, and another battalion of roughly 800 troops from the same division will arrive in Baghdad Thursday. The new White House strategy will put more than 20,000 additional U.S. troops on the ground in Iraq and will require new call-ups of the National Guard. But Administration officials arent worried that the troops may be placed in even more danger, or that this is a risky move: instead, they are concerned there wont be enough stock of Red Bull caffeinated drink products to fuel the surge. “When you shake a can of pepsi, you get a foam surge.. when you shake a can of coke, you get a carbonated sugar and syrup surge… but when you shake a can of Red Bullsh*t, you get this massive troop surge,” an unnamed Iraqi-American commandant said. “And if we are short on cans of Red Bullsh*t, you can guarantee the troop surge will fail.” The Federal Government has created a special counsel to focus on converting Government Bonds into short term purchases of Red Bullsh*t to help the Military get through this surge. “YYYYY AAAAAA RRRRRRRRR GGGGG HHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” raged one supporter of the Red Bull Iraq Troop Surge campaign after Wednesdays Presidential address by President Bush.