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Science: NASA ignores Bark Beetles bite

Shuttle Discoverys Wednesday launch was delayed by the unexpected and sudden presence of hundreds of thousands of the bark beetles in Houston. This most recent wave of beetlemania caught even the most seasoned NASA watchers off guard. “We do not want to launch when the air is full of beetles, thats the bottom line. I wont have these damn wood creatures threatening out astronauts” said NASA man” Fred McMurray. “This is just the kind of thing that wrecks civilizations.” Officials first took notice of the beetle outbreak in early 2000. Some experts have privately implicated the beetles in the Challenger disaster, which was even earlier. This comes as no surprise to Dr. Frank Wood, entemologist at the Smithsonian College of Natural and Unnatural history (SCNUH), who had been warning for some time of the beetle threat. “For years we relied on Yoko Onos intervention.” said Wood. “She was instrumental in breaking up the beetles and thus a great boon to the aviation industry. In my opinion Yoko is one of the unsung heroes of extermination in aviation. But Im sorry to say that this time she has let us down.” Associates at the history museum say experts were misled by frequent headlines at Spin magazine claiming “only two surviving beetles.” “I knew that this was greater than a two-beetle threat,” said Wood on Wednesday. Since the launch failure the beetle problem has drawn the attention of President Bushs national security team, which is now debating whether additional troops are needed to rid the skies of the invasive pest. “Don Rumsfeld, whatever his critics think of him, was active in beetle supression,” said George Bush in defense of his embattled secretary. It seems the president was right. In his farewell speech to Congress this week, Rumsfeld listed the bark beetle and one of the most important fronts in the fight against al-Queada. “Hes there to thank both the troops and their families for the sacrifices they are making in the war on the beetles,” said Air Force Lt. Col. Todd Vician, a Defense Department spokesman when asked about whether Mr. Rumsfeld had done all he could to supress the problem. A Raid spokesman offered no comment.