Science: New Torture Manual prevents Sexy Poses

The U.S. government has issued a new Army field manual, “Human Intelligence Collector Operations.” The new rules have emerged from abuses in Iraq and prevent interrogators from forcing prisoners to strip naked, perform sexual acts or pose in a sexual manner. No hoods are allowed. Electric shock, cigarette burnings, limb removal are also out, as are fierce dogs. Of course this applies to U.S. soil only. The manual for human collection on foreign territory is unpublished but sources say that interrogators are strictly limited to “pre-Renaissance technologies and field methods.” Government watchdogs are also warning about plans to use the international space station to circumvent the Geneva convention. Democratic senaors are trying to drum up support for a “Torture is not the best use of the Solar system” bill.

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